Know The Deep Things Of God. The Mysteries, the Wisdom, the Truths...

Pastor Chronister asks, Who writes a book like this? Only God could do this. Again... our pastor asks us to stop loving the simple. That's one of our church motto's by the way. That one is from the Bible, Proverbs 1:22. Unlike our other motto... Where you weird before you came to Cliffside, or did Cliffside make you weird? That one's from one of our wise elders.
OK... Let me tell you as little as possible about this Sunday's sermon. First of all, using the series title 'Special Easter Sermon' is done primarily to give our pastor great angst, and to trick you into listening. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that... but I just thought I should warn you. You see, this sermon is being preached on the day most churches will call 'Easter'. But this day is accurately called the feast day of First Fruits, or at least we should call it Passover. And I'll let our pastor tell you why. That way you can be mad at him and not me.
All right... I'm going to stop there and just let you know that this is the day our wonderful pastor will teach you some things that you might have never heard before. And those of you who have heard our pastor before will ask, So, how is that different than any other sermon at Cliffside?
Will this sermon offend you? Well... that's a real possibility.
So if you think you might want to learn how to be weird like us, then all you have to do is open your TextBook and press play.