Man Up: Turning Men Into Boys

"Dudes, guys, geeks, hipsters: Are they men or are they boys? Influential social critic Kay S. Hymowitz shows why lots of people—especially young women—aren't so sure, and why that matters to all of us.

Men in their twenties and thirties are ground zero for two radical shifts in contemporary life: delayed adulthood and an increasingly female-friendly economy. Settling into their careers, marrying, and having children later than ever before, young people are carving out a new "preadult" stage of life.

Women are now the first sex among preadults. They are the majority of college grads, and are taking over new sectors of a recession-battered but still dynamic knowledge economy. From marketing to communications, design to nonprofits, a historic number of high-wage careers are not just open to women, but dominated by them.

And the men? From the outside, preadult men often seem like children, filling their leisure time with video games, Adam Sandler movies, indie bands, beer pong, and the company of inebriated women. But it's not all fun for men, and certainly not any fun for the women who would like them to grow up. With no clear life script, these men don't know what is expected of them either as men or as adults. In the past, dating in the early adult years was largely a means to an end—marriage and fatherhood. No more. Dating can mean a decade or more of miscues, bad breakups, and Match.com dead ends.

Meanwhile, marriage and parenthood can come in myriad forms or be skipped altogether. A biological clock tells women when preadulthood has to come to an end. Men? They have no pressing reason to ponder the sand in the hourglass. Why man up? Even when it comes to